John: Becoming A Real Disciple

   I know...the title doesn't sound like one of my usual posts.  That's because it isn't.  Our Passion Play has just concluded and let me tell you; it changed my life!  I had the wonderful privilege of playing Disciple John and it was so humbling.  Not only was it humbling, but the Passion Play taught me so much about the Bible and the life of Jesus.  My role brought me so much closer to Christ because I was able to feel what I believe the real John felt while following Jesus.  Let me give you some examples.  The first scene of the play where the disciples follow Jesus into the crowd, I feel that we still didn't know too much about Jesus Himself.  So, as we see Him make the lame to walk, heal the blind, cast out demons and make the dead to live again, we are absolutely amazed. The only part that I didn't like about my role was the fact that I had to try to turn away children from seeing Jesus just after His sermon on the mount.  I believe that John is secretly wondering about Jesus, and starting to really believe what He is saying...especially when He calms the storm and walks on the water.  I believe that John was trying to comprehend and understand the love that Jesus had for others.  Many times in His life, Jesus was silent.  (I try to remember this as I live my life from day to day) for example, when the adulterous woman is about to be stoned, Jesus just neals down and writes in the sand.  For a while, He doesn't say anything at all.  Many people wonder what He writes because the Bible never specifies.  Jesus says "alright stone her, but let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I hear many people say that He is writing the accusers sins, but I believe that Jesus is writing their names in the sand.  You can form your own opinion as to why He may be writing their names, being that they were going to stone an adulteress woman...but anyway...back to my point.  Again, when Jesus is being judged He is completely silent.  He doesn't argue or try to fight, but He is silent before His accusers because He knows the truth.  WOW!! talk about being meek!  That is a great example of having power under control.  In the play, I also get to experience the pleasure of sitting with Jesus at the last supper and partaking of His body, as well as the disappointment of falling asleep on Him in the Garden of Gethsemane.  There are so many different emotions to this part; and I can only imagine what John was feeling.  I get to experience the rage of seeing the one I follow being captured and falsely accused because Judas betrayed Him.  I get to fight for my Jesus while He is being tried and sentenced to scourging and crucifition.  I get to try to plead with the soldiers to stop beating Him and to let Him go because He is innocent.  I feel so helpless when all others besides myself have turned their backs on Him, but yet I know the truth.  John was a man who wasn't scared to stand up for what he believed in.  He was right there with Jesus through every single thing that He death with, no matter how much the Roman soldiers placed threats on his life.  I also understand to know how it feels when Jesus cries out, "My God! My God! Why have You forsaken Me?!"  It feels that everything for John is absolutely falling apart and that Jesus really is gone.  I feel the anguish of watching Him being lowered of the cross and placed in a tomb.  Here comes my favorite part..I know how it feels to find out that Jesus has risen from from the dead and to see it first hand..I get to explain to my fellow Disciples that everything that Jesus taught was the truth!  What an amazing experience. 

    My future father in law talks alot about the Mexico mission trip and how much it changed his life.  It is awesome to hear him talk about it because you can really tell that he was affected by it.  I'm am the same way with the Passion play.  It has so dramatically changed me that I will never be the same.  I have made a promise to Jesus to fully and whole-heatedly seek Him with everything that I have until I am broken down.  I want to train myself to think like Jesus did, to react to situations the way He did, and to teach and lead the way He did and is still doing.  In beginning this transformation, I consider myself a REAL living Disciple and follower of Jesus Christ.  This task will be very difficult, and will go on for the rest of my days, but the Love of Jesus compels me to do this.

May we seek Christ in the midst of this world.